Options

Choices you can make now

Discuss funeral plans with a professional.

In recent years there has been an increase in prearranged funeral services. Funeral professionals are most willing to discuss your needs and preferences at any time. It is often helpful to know what service and disposition options are available. Choices made in advance are often more informed and indeed can be better decisions. Some families choose to pre-pay all or part of a funeral in advance.

Consider financial and other important matters.

It is wise to let your spouse or next of kin know a bit about your financial status. He/she should be familiar with the location of your savings, checking or brokerage accounts. Someone should know the location of your will and be aware of any special financial obligations you may have which would continue after your death. When faced with all of the decisions immediately after death occurs, it is valuable to know where certain documents are located and how to obtain them without difficulty. These items might include:

• Social Security number and records
• Birth certificate
• Marriage or divorce certificates
• Discharge from military service
• Savings and checking account information
• Insurance policies
• Stocks and bonds
• Deeds or mortgage papers
• Pension or retirement account records

Provide important vital statistics.

The legal documents prepared after death require certain information be included. It is wise to record personal information such as parents' names, mother's maiden name and your Social Security number. Military discharges might need to be accessed. Keep this information in a place where the person who will be making your arrangements can find it. Not having access to such information can delay much of the important paperwork associated with a death.

What kind of funeral would you like to have?

Every family is different and all may not want to have the same kind of funeral. Our family traditions, religious practices and personal desires guide the type of funeral service we choose. Simple or elaborate services, public or private, religious or secular; these are some of the choices.

There are many places a funeral may be held, from funeral homes and churches to simple graveside ceremonies. Some people may wish to have no services at all. And these choices influence other factors such as whether the body will be present for the funeral, whether there will be visitation or viewing and if so, whether the casket will be open or closed. The final disposition – either burial or cremation – also requires a decision.

It is an excellent idea to have discussed these choices and your own preferences with your family. Such discussions ease the burden of decisions at the time a family must make funeral arrangements for a loved one.

Because there are so many choices, it would be impossible to detail all of them here. However, below we will explain some basic types of services. As always, consulting a funeral professional or clergy person is advisable when you have specific questions.

A few words about "The Traditional Funeral".

In most areas of the U.S. and Canada, a traditional funeral consists of some type of visitation or time for family to receive friends. The deceased is placed in a casket, which may be open or closed. Following the visitation and viewing, a funeral service takes place. The funeral may be held in a funeral home, church or cemetery chapel. While most families select a service that is religious in nature, secular services may be held, instead. After the funeral services, burial or cremation may take place. If cremation is chosen, the cremated remains are returned to the family for placement in a grave, columbarium niche or permanent retention.

Regardless of the type of service that is chosen, it is important for the grief recovery process to have some type of gathering to receive the support of family and friends, acknowledge that a death has occurred, celebrate the life that has been lived and begin living our life without the person who has died.

The type of disposition we select for our body actually has very little to do with the type of funeral we select. There are two main types of disposition and one that is considered an alternative.

Burial of the body.

When one selects to be buried, the body is placed in a casket, the casket is placed in a burial vault or grave liner if required by the cemetery; and the entire unit is placed in a grave. The close alternative to burial is placement in an above ground crypt or mausoleum. This type of disposition is called entombment.

The cremation option.

If the body is not buried or entombed, it may be cremated. Cremation subjects the body to a high degree of heat reducing it to brittle bone fragments that are processed and placed in an urn or some other type of container. The urn may then be buried, placed in a niche or retained by the family. Sometimes the cremated remains are scattered. Even though a cremation is planned, there is always the option of having a funeral service where the body is present for viewing. Many professionals suggest that this viewing is helpful to the grief recovery process.

If services without viewing are chosen, they may take place either before or after cremation takes place. If these memorials take place after cremation, the cremated remains in an urn are usually present.

The anatomical donation.

The other option for disposition is the anatomical gift. Arrangements are usually made in advance of death for a medical school or other institution to receive the body immediately after death. Even families who make anatomical gifts may have funeral services. The body, however, is seldom present. At some later date, the body is respectfully cremated. Directions for final disposition are agreed upon in advance with the institution receiving the donation. It is wise to consult the institution you intend to receive the body for details on how to accomplish this special type of disposition and on requirements for special handling.

Once the decision about the ultimate disposition of a loved one or ourselves has been made, the public and/or private ceremonies – the funeral ceremonies will be determined. You may have heard it said that "funerals are for the living." And you have probably also heard that "we should be memorialized in the way that we lived." Both are correct and offer sound advice.